Letters to a young (ish) nutcase

oh my god!

so there's this guy, Chris Roller, and he's suing David Copperfield, claiming he stole his "godly" powers. He's demanding $50 000 000 and 10% of all future profits.
Apart from the lawsuit, he claims to be some sort of god from another world.
He also claims that he will be running for President in 2008 with Bill Gates.
Oh! and he's selling real estate on Earth II- to the highest bidder. Don't delay!
You have to read his website! It's spectacular!
www.chrisroller.com
he claims that the Truman Show was based on his life story.
GO. READ. NOW.

One of my coworkers and I wrote him an email last week.
This is what it said:

subject: Regarding said magic powers

I am writing to inform you that there is no possible way that DavidCopperfield could have stolen your godly powers, because you stolethem from me!I expect them handed back to me via FedEx, with a month's supply ofcandy corn as interest.
yours truly,
Celestia (formally from the Planet ZXEPTON)

and this is what we got back:

subject: RE: regarding said magic powers

you were wonderful last night!

That was my short, but unforgettable encounter with a certified wacko.