FREE KATIE?

Well, I'm back after almost two months, for that super small percentage of people who actually cared.

About 8 weeks have past since my last blog and since my dreaded unemployment... or so it would seem. Unemployment is actually the greatest thing in the world. All I do is lie in the sun all day and swim in the pool.

SMALL NOTE-
I'm leaving a week from Sunday for the summer, but perhaps I'll check in every now and again. I'll definitely have stories to share. I am going to be working at a camp for six weeks. But this is no ordinary camp. Our theme song goes "When I can't stop a jitterin', I just takes me my ritalin..." Its a camp for inner-city kids, who are all pretty much... well... crazy. I went there last year and surprisingly survived... with only semi-minor cuts and bruises.

Now, to the big issue.

Katie Holmes + Tom Cruise = True Love

Personally, I was rooting for Tom and Penelope cuz I always giggled at that whole Cruise Squared bit. But I guess Penelope, like the rest of them, realized that Tom Cruise was a cokehead, minus the coke.

Now there's this whole business with the free katie websites, etc etc... But if you ask me, Katie Holmes is just as psycho as her vertically challenged beau. I think they deserve each other, to have and to hold, throughout their whole hellish existence. Remember... she WAS on the Creek. (Forgive me, we all know I secretly LOVE the WB).

Now they'll get married... in the church of Scientology, with their respective life coaches standing by (cuz I assume life coaches come with their scientology memberships, if they are ever going to better themselves... god knows they can't do it on their own... they're celebrities!)
And once all Batman and War of the Worlds sequels are finished in their fabulous, new franchises, they'll divorce and Katie Holmes will go back to dating young, pretty boys, while Tom Cruise goes through yet another (is this his fourth?) midlife crisis.

Before I wrap up, I would like to send out my deepest sympathies to Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins, Justin Chatwin, Christian Bale, Micheal Caine, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Steven Spielberg, and Christopher Nolan, who have lost any chance of being able to legitimately promote these two crazy exciting movies that they so diligently slaved over.
I was actually planning on seeing both movies before this whole media stunt, contrary to Tom and Katie's publicists' opinions.

All right, I'm off to go make dip. Going to a party tonight and momma always taught me that one should always bring a homeade dip when invited to a party.

Later.
... To anyone who's reading.