Karma kicked Zen's ass- 2 to 0

Today I learned that no amount of zen(zational attitude) can safeguard someone from the perils of karma.

The past few weeks have been too good to be true for me. Somewhere along the way, life just became easy for me. School was a breeze and quite enjoyable, working weekends was abolished and my new job was that highlight of my week, I was spending my weekends doing things I never previously had time for (such as socializing and playing), and best of all, I had suddenly taken on this completely zen attitude towards everything.
In short- I was in the zone. I was as in the zone as one can possibly be.

Of course, as soon as you put yourself in the zone, you become a target in a shooting range. I should have figured this out earlier. Nothing is ever good for long.

I begin with a trip to my local Speedy Muffler. I usually like Speedy Muffler. The boys who work at are nice to look at and have to bend over a lot, showing off their beautiful bottom, the service is quick, and the prices are fair. Now, my father has been "nagging" me lately (and I say nagging in a completely teenage sense) about checking my brakes and each time I shrugged it off with a "if I'm about to die a la brake problems, I'd know it" kind of attitude. Boy, should I have listened to him. It is okay to be zen, but being neglectful is another story, eh? I find out that my brakes are so far gone that I could die at any moment if I get back into my car without fixing them. Now, this shouldn't be such a big problem... Wait around for an hour or two, shell out a few hundred bucks, and be on my way, right? Buttttt.... I happened to have had a class scheduled for an hour and a half later in a town that was 45 minutes away from the Speedy Muffler. Holy cow, people... if one could die from fear of not being punctual, it would have been me. Luckily, I made it there just as the children were barreling in the room.
There goes a good part of my Zen-esqueness.

Now for the clencher!
I get home, walk in the door EXHAUSTED! I had 20 minutes before I had to meet my mother, my cousins, and my aunt for dinner and I just wanted to lie down for a bit to fight off my insane headache. I let my dog outside and washed my hands while I waited for my dog to come back. When she didnt come back, I headed outside to look for her, and what do you know.... as if my day wasn't bad enough, SHE HAD HER FACE IN A PILE OF DOGGIE DIARRHEA!!! I spent the next flippin' 20 minutes cleaning poo of her stupid, ugly dog face. (can you see all the zen escaping me while you read this blog entry?). Now not only was I emotionally exhausted, physically exhausted, and headache ridden, but I was covered in "I just washed diarrhea off a dog" stench. And then I was expected to sit through a meal and socialize and care about other people when all I wanted to do was repeatedly bang my big head on a really hard wall!

So that's it. Karma bit me in the ass for all the stupid things I've said and done in life (like poking my dog repeatedly with a hanger when I got particularily bored) and wiped out all the zen I had to offer in me.

Zen Schmen! That Kay Sera attitude don't fly by me.
Back to neurotic, fucktarded Steph.
She's back and she ain't never going away.
Why should life be easy and breezy when it can be harder than a young man's penis while watching girl on girl pornography?

That's it! I'm through! THE END!

p.s. there's no such thing as stop, drop, and roll in hell!

p.p.s. i have a posse of six grade girls who follow me around during mad science and clean up my messes while i explain to them the horrors of high heels. i am soooo popular. i always wanted to be the leader of a popular girl clique. it is VERY clueless. only, it's sort of the anti-clueless, seeing as i teach them to denounce all fashion.

Sunday Things

The best part about quitting my job is that I have my favorite day on the week back: SUNDAY.
There are so many reasons why Sunday is my favorite day.
Sunday is when you do all those Sunday things that you would never do any other day of the week.
Sunday Things are those that you would never consider making time in your week schedule for.
The essential root of the word Sunday is Lame. You do lame, quaint things on Sundays.
As kids, many of us were brought up to consider Sunday as family day. On Sunday, you go shopping as a family (usually for 'lame' things like garden materials and groceries at the outdoor market).
Sunday is a day for apple picking, pumpkin picking, museum scouting, house decorating, flea markets, outdoor carnivals, drives to the country, drives to the mountains, etc.
Sunday is the day where we forget we have to go to work and school the next day.
Sunday is the day of the week that I pretend that I am not a young, hip 20ish chick living in a hella chic city, full of hella chic people with hella chic things to do.
Yes... I love Sunday.
I have almost forgotten how great Sunday is... seeing as I haven't had one in years... (summer Sundays don't count...the weeks in summer are endless. Everyday is a Sunday, yet no days are ever quite Sunday).

--------
SIDENOTE:

Elizabethtown is the WORST movie I have ever seen. I miss the good old Cameron Crowe who made Say Anything and Jerry Maguire. This movie was over two hours of agony. Nobody could have played this part worse than Orlando Bloom. By the end of the movie, I came to the conclusion that every single character in this movie was useless! (Except Chuck and Cindy... they should make a spinoff movie just about Chuck and Cindy's wedding).
The weird part was that after about two hours, the movie completely changed directions for the last 20 minutes. I felt like somebody changed the movie and I was watching something entirely different. The cinematography was all of a sudden interesting and beautiful, the dialogue was impressive and honest, and the finally switched the horrible Orlando voiced over narration to Kirsten Dunst. It was really the only honest part of this movie. And yet I was so jaded from having to sit through two hours of that crap, that I couldn't enjoy it. Cameron Crowe had something going with those last 20 minutes... Too bad he had to go and ruin the rest of the movie.
Definitely goes down in my book of shame.
shame, shame, shame....