Karma kicked Zen's ass- 2 to 0

Today I learned that no amount of zen(zational attitude) can safeguard someone from the perils of karma.

The past few weeks have been too good to be true for me. Somewhere along the way, life just became easy for me. School was a breeze and quite enjoyable, working weekends was abolished and my new job was that highlight of my week, I was spending my weekends doing things I never previously had time for (such as socializing and playing), and best of all, I had suddenly taken on this completely zen attitude towards everything.
In short- I was in the zone. I was as in the zone as one can possibly be.

Of course, as soon as you put yourself in the zone, you become a target in a shooting range. I should have figured this out earlier. Nothing is ever good for long.

I begin with a trip to my local Speedy Muffler. I usually like Speedy Muffler. The boys who work at are nice to look at and have to bend over a lot, showing off their beautiful bottom, the service is quick, and the prices are fair. Now, my father has been "nagging" me lately (and I say nagging in a completely teenage sense) about checking my brakes and each time I shrugged it off with a "if I'm about to die a la brake problems, I'd know it" kind of attitude. Boy, should I have listened to him. It is okay to be zen, but being neglectful is another story, eh? I find out that my brakes are so far gone that I could die at any moment if I get back into my car without fixing them. Now, this shouldn't be such a big problem... Wait around for an hour or two, shell out a few hundred bucks, and be on my way, right? Buttttt.... I happened to have had a class scheduled for an hour and a half later in a town that was 45 minutes away from the Speedy Muffler. Holy cow, people... if one could die from fear of not being punctual, it would have been me. Luckily, I made it there just as the children were barreling in the room.
There goes a good part of my Zen-esqueness.

Now for the clencher!
I get home, walk in the door EXHAUSTED! I had 20 minutes before I had to meet my mother, my cousins, and my aunt for dinner and I just wanted to lie down for a bit to fight off my insane headache. I let my dog outside and washed my hands while I waited for my dog to come back. When she didnt come back, I headed outside to look for her, and what do you know.... as if my day wasn't bad enough, SHE HAD HER FACE IN A PILE OF DOGGIE DIARRHEA!!! I spent the next flippin' 20 minutes cleaning poo of her stupid, ugly dog face. (can you see all the zen escaping me while you read this blog entry?). Now not only was I emotionally exhausted, physically exhausted, and headache ridden, but I was covered in "I just washed diarrhea off a dog" stench. And then I was expected to sit through a meal and socialize and care about other people when all I wanted to do was repeatedly bang my big head on a really hard wall!

So that's it. Karma bit me in the ass for all the stupid things I've said and done in life (like poking my dog repeatedly with a hanger when I got particularily bored) and wiped out all the zen I had to offer in me.

Zen Schmen! That Kay Sera attitude don't fly by me.
Back to neurotic, fucktarded Steph.
She's back and she ain't never going away.
Why should life be easy and breezy when it can be harder than a young man's penis while watching girl on girl pornography?

That's it! I'm through! THE END!

p.s. there's no such thing as stop, drop, and roll in hell!

p.p.s. i have a posse of six grade girls who follow me around during mad science and clean up my messes while i explain to them the horrors of high heels. i am soooo popular. i always wanted to be the leader of a popular girl clique. it is VERY clueless. only, it's sort of the anti-clueless, seeing as i teach them to denounce all fashion.