10 REASONS WHY I'M GROSS

1- When I clean out my ears, I like to look at the Q-Tip to see how much wax buildup I had.

2- I like to eat ketchup on my Kraft Dinner (some people find it gross in itself that I eat Kraft Dinner).

3- When I was in high school, my friends and I would watch scrambled porn at our sleepovers.

4- I still swallow my gum sometimes if I'm too lazy to find a garbage can.

5- I sometimes look like i'm biting my nails, but really I'm biting my cuticles.

6- I have sex fantasies involving John Malkovitch (don't judge me).

7- I would rather pick a wedgie than sit in discomfort all day.

8- I do my laundry more often than I wash my hair (and I don't do laundry often).

9- my clean laundry pile is usually sitting under the dirty laundry mountain.

10- I'm wearing yesterday's leftover mascara today.

What one does in privacy...

Whatever people.
However gross I am,
I bet you are all ten times worse.

WARNING: Sexual Content- READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

Nobody reads my blog.

And I've come to realize why.

Although I fill my blog chock full of fun and drama, there is one thing I've left out and it is penalizing my popularity ten fold.

S.E.X.

Sex sells. Everyone knows it.
Carrie Bradshaw knows it. Jenna Jameson knows it. Fricken Jessica Simpson knows it.


Whether it's raunchy german poo on each other sex, or poolboy fantasy sex, or romantic puke me a river sex, people want to read about it (and possibly watch it).

It's everywhere. It's on tv, on the internet, in magazines, etc. etc.
If I filled my blog entries up with galant tales of sexual adventures and misadventures, I'd probably have one of the more popular blogs.

I have tried to base my blogs on other things such as yoyo tales and music rants, but the masses aren't having any of it. I understand that I need to change the content for the good of the people. I am willing to do it too. Hell, I'd sell my soul for a lot less. I am taking the lesser root. I am giving in like so many from the past have done. I will sex myself up with the best of them. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan will have nothing on me.


So here it is... a new me, a new blog, WAY new content.
Here is a start to a brand new view.
Here is my new blog, all about sex.
Here it goes:




SEX-

I'm not having any.

My So-Called Crap

I am a teen drama fiend.

The older I get, the more drawn I am to overwrought, underwhelming dramatic television. Perhaps it is because my high school past was nothing but dull and eventless. Or perhaps I just have bad taste. Who knows.

When My So-Called Life first aired on ABC, I was too young to actually care. I was at the age where I was still trying to salvage a secret interest in Power Rangers while outwardly pretending to be into Beverly Hills 90210 to impress the 6th graders at my school. I therefore never got to witness the Claire Danes/Jared Leto experience.

In light of the current trend of tv shows on dvd, I decided to venture into this 90s territory. My curiosity was mostly due to the number of people who told me that this show was created for those of the likes of me. Drama, flannel, cute boys, 90s grunge music... What's not to love? (I am actually proudly a HUGE Party of Five fan, if you couldn't already guess). Now, I had never seen this show before, but I had heard an awful lot about it. Claire Danes, Jared Leto this, and that, and this and that. So I was excited. Melodramatic character meets cute, musician boy. It was going to be great!

Boy, was I disapointed!

I hate this show! I hate it with every fibre in my body! Maybe I was just setting my standards too high, but it was not what I was expecting. First of all (and many of you are going to kill me now), I HATE JARED LETO! I used to think he was hella cute (pre Lindsay Lohan Britney Spears days) but he plain old sucks in this show. Not only does he provide no crush potential, him and Claire Danes together SUCK! I hate them together. Worst couple EVER! Here I was thinking this show was supposed to be all about Claire Danes and Jared Leto and I can't even stand to watch the scenes that they share together! His character is stupid and I hate him and I wish they would have killed him off the show. Then maybe the show would have lasted!

Also, I actually find the show sort of boring. I know its supposed to be a character drama, but its still boring as hell. I hate Claire Danes' mom on the show, I think she's a douchebag. I think her little sister is a crackhead. In fact, I pretty much hate all the characters. Except Brian.

Brian (aka badboy Sean from Roswell) is the only good part about this show. Someone needs to get Brian a girlfriend. He's the only reason I might finish watching the dvds.

I still have like 10 episodes left. Maybe it will pick up.
Probably not.
This show sucks.

Did I mention I hate this show?

K, I'm gonna go watch another episode now.

------
UPDATE (added on a few hours later)

I've watched a few more episodes and now I'm beginning to resent Brian. I used to feel bad that he didn't have a girlfriend but now I am finally coming to terms with the fact that its his own fault. He needs to stop being such a loser. It's starting to get creepy... maybe if he got laid. I still love him though... Good old Brian.

WHO GAVE FREDDIE PRINZE JR. A SHOW?

eh?